Ready Resources

We who are called upon to offer counsel to others should realize that we have a lot to offer. God has placed in our hands some readily available tools to employ in the counseling ministry. Consider six of our most important resources.

1. The Word of God

When an individual or couple comes for counseling it is often because there has been a difference of perspective. Each per son is seeing the matter from his own "side," and is struggling to see it from the point of view of the other person.

This is where the Word of God is so important in counseling because it transforms our perspective (Rom. 12:1,2) God's Word offers a "higher authority" than the individual's perspective, and it is our job as counselors to show them how God views a matter.

As we do this, we need to work skillfully. To merely open the Bible, read a verse or two, and say, "Do that" is not going to succeed. We must first listen carefully, and emphasize with the person who is struggling. Only then will the person be ready to receive the advice of the Bible.

One of our goals in counseling should be to establish confident in God and His Word. We do not want the counselee to become dependent on us as the counselor, feeling that we are the source of all wisdom. Instead, we want the person to leave the counseling process feeling that God cares and that He has spoken in His Word to the problem that the counselee is facing.

2. The Ministry of Prayer

One of the tools that helps connect the counselee with God is prayer. If we can help the counselee begin to talk to God about his problems we have offered him a significant form of help. There are several ways we can use the tool of payer.

Obviously, we need to pray during the counseling session itself, not only beginning and ending the session with prayer, but praying at different appropriate times throughout the session as well.

Also, encourage the counselee to continue praying during the week. Simply challenging the person to do this may not be enough, so perhaps a plan for prayer could be used. You could agree together to pray at a certain time each day. You could also suggest that the counselee pray through a passage of scripture such as Psalm 91, before the next session.

The counselor should undertake to pray continually for the counselee, for usually the problem involves some form of spiritual warfare.

Sometimes, but not always, some form of deliverance prayer may be needed. This should not be approached lightly, but with real dependence on the Lord for discernment and strength.

Yet another use of prayer in counseling is to mark the completion of a process of healing. We might call this a "rite of passage" kind of prayer. Let me give an example of what I mean. Let's say that you have been counseling, preferably with your wife, a female counselee who had been sexually abused in her youth. After a period of counseling, and after the Lord has brought a measure of healing and deliverance, you could schedule a time to get together with some of the counselee's closest and trusted friends, as well as godly elders from the church for a special time of prayer. During that time you would bring closure to the issue, signifying the resolution of the problem (this could be done with anointing of oil and laying on of hands). Obviously, this does not mean that after-effects of the problem will never reoccur, but such a time of prayer can be a significant way of saying that the counselee is moving on from the former period of struggle.

3. The Pulpit and Public Prayer

Many people will never seek out a pastoral counselor. Their problems are too sensitive, or they feel the pastor is too busy. They might not even share their problem with a trusted Christian friend. But we can still minister to them through the regular services of our church.

One way we can do that is to use prayer in our worship services to touch on real needs. We can pray in a general way for those who are struggling with family and personal problems. We can pray for those facing unemployment or depression. If we do this in a way that really conveys our empathy, and not just pass quickly over it, we can really encourage the hurting among us.

Preaching can also be a very significant way of helping our congregants. We should choose to preach on themes that are practical, ones that touch on common needs which all people experience. For example, I recently preached a month long series on urban stress and how God can help us deal with it. Some time ago I preached a series called "Broken Vows" in which I dealt with issues many never speak on but are very common in our society: abuse, infidelity, incest, etc. This gave many people freedom to share their experiences and hurts. Several groups for women started as a result of this series. I've also preached on forgiveness purity, making Godly choices as well as other themes that touch every life.

4. The Extended Family

In our African cultures, the family is already positioned to respond to various kind of crisis. When someone in our family is going through a difficult time, we rally to the cause and help out. For example, if a wife is being beaten by her husband, she goes back to her family while things can be worked through. Her family can then work to influence the husband to change his ways.

In many cases, a brother or uncle can say something to a relative that a pastor could not say, and he can say it with more authority because he has the influence of the whole family behind him.

Sometimes we as pastors forget the resource of the family and try to solve the problem out of our own wisdom and influence. Instead, we should call upon the family for help, asking them to intervene where appropriate.

5. Fellowship of the Body of Christ

The family of the church can also be of great help. If the counselee has been attending the church it is likely that he or she has developed some friendships. These friends can be a strong source of influence in the life of the counselee. If we call together four or five of the persons closest peer friends in the church, explain the problem to them in the presence of the counselee, we would be amazed at the wisdom that would come out of that group.

The group can also be involved in holding the counselee to the agreements made in the counseling session. They can visit the counselee at home, pray with them and encourage them between counseling sessions. If the pastor had to do all this by himself, he would not cope. Furthermore, many problems can be headed off in these small fellowship groups without ever having to come to the pastor.

6. Referrals

A busy church leader must always be considering how and when he should ask others to help him with the counseling ministry. No one can do it all alone.

One form of referral is Professional, that is, where we refer the counselee to a profession counselor. It is a valuable skill for a pastor to recognize when the problem is so complex that he needs the specialized help of a trained counselor.

Another form of referral is Non-Professional. This could take different forms. For example, a pastor could speak with ten other pastors in his community; they could get together and share what kinds of counseling each feels competent to handle, and could then refer marital problems to the pastor who feels qualified to handle those, career guidance issues to another, sexual problems to another, and so forth.

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Oscar Muriu is that pastor of Nairobi Chapel. He has developed a premarital counseling course, which is often taught by elders of the church. Oscar has a special interest in discovering how rites of passage can be used to teach and encourage urban African Christians today. He and his wife, Beatrice have three daughters.


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